Eponine
by WonderfullyWicked
Summary: Eponine's time at the barricade, through her death, from her POV. Has references to the musical numbers, with some creative liberties.


**EPONINE**

"Boy, you could be hurt! It's very dangerous for you to go out there."

"I'll be fine," I replied. Enjolras was right—it was risky for me to go out there, past the barricade. But I didn't care anymore. What did I have to live for?

I could have said Marius.... He was my best friend. But he didn't love me; not like I loved him. He had someone else; there was no use in pretending I had a chance with him.

"I'll be quick. Just let me go," I continued.

"You could get caught! Do you know what could happen to you?" Enjolras said, but let go of my arm anyway.

Maybe Enjolras had led Marius and his classmates into a revolution, but he didn't know _anything_ about me. I would be fine—no matter what happened. I was tough. I was a girl of the streets.

Marius handed me a sealed envelope. "Tell Cosette I love her." His fingertips brushed my hand as I took the letter from him. I left the barricade silently.

How could he love her? She had grown up in my house as a _servant_! But Jean Valjean had come to take her away after a few years, leaving _me_ to become the neglected child. I had been practically left to the streets to fend for myself, without even parents to support me. They didn't care about me.

I didn't see how Marius could be so oblivious to me! We had grown up together as close friends. Then, day after day, as I got older, I began to notice new things about him...like how handsome he was. But he just kept treating me like a friend.

Finally, there was the fateful day when Marius met Cosette. I had been in Saint Michele, visiting Marius before school. I had seen Cosette enter my view out of the corner of my eye, and my stomach tightened. What was she doing around here? It was so hard for me to see her doing well after _I'd_ been the brat as a child.

I chose not to make her appearance seem obvious, or shocking, to me, though it was certainly the latter. I tried to take my mind off of _her_, so I turned to Marius.

"Your books," I said, reading the titles of the books clutched under his arm, "I could read these—I could have been a student, too!"

Marius just gave me a look.

Cosette was now handing out money to the beggars. Why did she have to be so damn _charitable_?! I wanted to swallow my words and flee. But I could be no coward.

"Marius," I said, ruffling my hand on top of his head. "Your hair looks good today. I like the way you wear it."

"Aw, thanks, 'Ponine," Marius replied, hitting me on the arm. A slight blush crept onto his cheeks. None of his actions were out of romantic affection, though; it was the reply he would have given to a friend. Which was all I would be to him. "I'd better get to school."

And in that instant, my world stopped turning.

Marius and Cosette had bumped into each other, his myriad books scattering. She apologized profusely, and when their eyes met, I knew. How could he _not_ love her?

There was no chance for me at all. For a moment, I thought I would cry. But I fought it away with all my heart.

I let my mind wander as I walked to Jean Valjean's house, now away from the barricades. I imagined what Marius would have said, had I been the recipient of the letter. I pretended he was beside me, without a war or a Cosette for him to be preoccupied with.

It started to rain. The pavement started to shine like the silver pieces Cosette had given the beggars the day she'd met my Marius. I could almost feel his arms around me and I sighed, stopping in my tracks. But I regained my grip on reality and kept walking.

As I approached Valjean's house, I stopped playing games. I stopped pretending I would ever be with Marius, even in my dreams. I was on my own.

I called to the old man when I reached the house. A man with a weary look on his face acknowledged me.

"This letter is from Marius, a schoolboy in the revolution," I said as coolly as possible. "He wanted me to bring it to Cosette."

"Thank you, boy. I'll make sure she receives it." And that was that.

I reached the barricades again at twilight, still in my disguise. I was glad Marius knew I was really Eponine, a _girl_, who had come to the barricades in disguise to be with Marius. But my heart was heavy, and my feet leaden, once I started climbing up the barricade to get over to the revolutionary side. I loved Marius! But I could only love him on my own. I knew the feelings could never be returned, and yet I still pursued him. I vowed never to think those thoughts again. I would not pursue him any longer. As much as I kept telling myself I didn't have a chance to be with Marius, now I wouldn't keep trying. This time, I wouldn't turn back from the fact.

I stopped at the top of the barricade for one moment at the peak, to take in one breath. I closed my eyes for one brief second, and in that second I heard a shot.

Suddenly my eyes jerked open and a heartwrenching agony wracked my body. My legs ached, my sides felt as if I'd been stabbed, and my head felt like it would explode! He had _shot_ me! Just as I was climbing over the walls of the barricade, the old man had caught me, taken aim, and shot.

One of the sentries, Joly, saw me as I fell onto the ground on our side of the barricade. I had to get to Marius...I _had_ to!

Joly shouted at Marius, who came rushing to my side.

"Good God, 'Ponine! What did you do? Where is your fear; you could have been hurt!" He took my hand, unaware to the fact I was _very_ hurt; I was—I could hardly bear to think it—dying. "Have you seen my beloved?"

He said it with such earnest that my heart split in two. _His beloved_...oh, how I would have cherished the word!

A pain reared in my head, and I gasped. "I took the letter, just like you asked." The pain in my head traveled to my side, making it hard to speak. "Valjean said h-he would...give it—" The pain! Oh—the pain.... "Marius, I can't stand," I said as my knees buckled and I fell into his arms. How I had pictured this moment so differently...

The rain pounded against my hair, pouring across my face. Some of the drops fell, welcomed, into my parted mouth.

"Eponine! What happened?" Marius asked, his voice frantic and strained. He ran his fingers through my hair. I sighed, a faint smile creeping onto my lips. Then the pain became too much. The smile was cut short when Marius drew in an abrupt breath. "Oh, God, 'Ponine, there's something wet on your hair! You're hurt! Get her help!" His words were lost into the rain. Most of the students weren't even around to see me die. The pain swelled, making my body ache. I prayed it would go away.

And instantly, the pain was gone. I was numb. And I knew I was dying; I even welcomed it. No one was there to help me, and no one could heal the wound now. Already, the edge of my sight was blurring. But if I would die in his arms, it would all be okay; I knew it. I could be at peace with death. I would finally be home. I would finally _have_ a home.

"Don't fret, Monsieur Marius," I told him. "I don't feel any pain."

"'Ponine!" He looked at me with such concern in his dark eyes and laid my head in his arms. I felt myself start to cry.

"Don't," I said, my voice breaking. I reached to touch his cheek. "I really don't feel anything at all."

He bent himself over me, seemingly to protect me from the falling rain.

"A little rain won't hurt me now," I laughed. My sight grew dimmer and my eyelids became very heavy. "Nothing else can happen to me."

"No, 'Ponine, dear God, you'll live!" Marius was pleading with me now. "If only I could heal your wounds..." he trailed off and the rest of his sentence was unintelligible. I had to fight to hear his words—I was dying quickly.

"You're here," I said. "That's all I need." I wanted to tell him that I loved him! I wanted him to know, before...

"Don't talk like this, 'Ponine," Marius said, his eyes red. He looked toward the heavens for a brief moment, then took my face in his hands. I used the rest of my energy to place myself in his arms exactly where I always wanted to be, with my head resting on his chest and my hand there, too. He held me close and whispered, "You're going to live! Please, 'Ponine."

"You're here," I said again. "That's all I need to know. And you will keep me safe and hold me close." My breathing became labored and I closed my eyes. "That's...all I've e-ever...wanted....And the rain...w-will wash away...everything—that's...p-passed." I breathed. I gasped in one last breath as I felt my world start to close in.

"And rain," Marius said, his weeping overcoming his whispering voice, "will make the flowers grow—oh, Eponine..."

The rain lifted my spirits and cleansed my thoughts. I tried to smile. Marius then bent over me and I couldn't distinguish between the rain on my face and Marius's tears.

I felt his lips warm on my forehead as I exhaled, and everything went black.

I was home.

* * *

**A/N: I did say creative liberties would be taken, so I hope it's not _too_ far off the mark. Yes, I know she dies before Marius says "grow" but once again, creative liberties. I like my version. I am in love with it! I appreciate what you have to say, and I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but I know that some of my stuff strays a bit from the original (musical, I mean. I have not read the Book, though I dearly want to and have read Eponine's death scene). Thanks!! :)**


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